With time,

Time, with time

Has brought me wounds

I married a man

That can be held

A man that can be beheld

But now all I have of you

Is sound

Early before the sun gets up

The sound of you creeping out of bed

Careful not to awaken an awoken woman

It’s sound,

The sound of you in the shower

Whistling under your breath

The sound of you rummaging in the freezer

Looking for a one-quick-bite

It’s sound,

The sound of you on the phone

Calling me from your important job,

and-

 

Hours after the sun wore out

The sound of you driving in

Your car headlamps lights mocking me

Mocking my mind

The sound of you creeping into bed

Careful not to awaken an aching woman

The sound of you snoring all night

After a tired all day

And just before daybreak

The sound of your alarm clock

Handing to you the dreadful chore

As the vicious cycle recycles.

 

I married a man

Who has become a stranger

In our house

A man who doesn’t know

How the house looks by day

Sometimes you walk into the study

When you wanted the opposite door

Some years into our marriage

Was the last time

You remembered my birthday

I’ll swear on my mother’s grave

That you really can’t say

The ages of our kids

Their classes in the school

Or even how they look.

I’ve waited, i’ve pleaded

I’ve wished things would revert

To the times we first met

Now all I have to hold

Are stale memories of old

When we ate breakfast in bed

And together shared the bath

The shadows of the times

Four o clock was end of work

And weekends the start of fun.

 

I’ve bled in my mind

Day, noon and night

Hoping for a miracle at hand

But you were lost

Lost in your work

Lost in your thoughts

Lost in your world

You alone without us

Protecting your faults.

I’ve bled for you

With tears like a flood

I’ve prayed for you

Till I lost my voice.

Till It became obvious

The sound I now have

Will never again become a man

The man with whom

I got lost in love

Fourteen years ago

Then one day

when like the sky

After the rain

The scales cleared

from your eyes like a veil

When you lost

Your Job

That stole you away from us

Your Job,

They made you think

You alone can work.

 

That Tuesday in August

You trudged in torn and worn

One look I knew all was wrong

Like A convict you knelt at my feet

Held my hand,

Looked longingly into my eyes

As you rose and

kissed me twice on my lips

Then memories came flooding back

Since a long time you held me like that

You told me how you still love me

How much you are so sorry

But my tears flowed like a stream

When my love had turned stale

Already my mind was made.

 

I had a lot on my mind

A lot to let you know

But you were never around

To hear my heart

A lot had changed,

But you were too busy to see

Like I no longer called

To ask where you were

How I no more stayed awake

For you each time you come back late

How I found me hope

In a place I shouldn’t have looked.

 

You aren’t the only one sorry

I’ve been sorry,

But you never listened

You aren’t the only one guilty

Each day I looked so guilty,

But you never noticed

You are two kisses too late

For I’ve found a friend in your friend.

© 2010 Tolulope Akinyemi